i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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