Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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