Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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