It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You took a bar mat shot.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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