I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Randomize
