Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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