Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize