the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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