I must be too annoying 4 u.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
