I bet he comes in French.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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