i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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