I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Go christen that room with your naked body.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
All the doctor said was why
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
