Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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