Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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