Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
