Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
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