if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm just crazy horny about you
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
