5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
