just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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