I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
