I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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