then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
