Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
