Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
