Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
third nipple confirmed
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
