...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
