i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
