Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
