Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You are a genius and a whore.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
