You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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