pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
There's always time for handjobs
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
