im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize