I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize