On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
