just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
