piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
