Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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