I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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