I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
