One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
