My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
