my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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