he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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