I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
