Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
