I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
