first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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