so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize