i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
