it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize