he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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