"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
