Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
