one two three fourrrrnication!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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