Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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