When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
