I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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