Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize