We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
