Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
